A love for travel is something many people read- ing this could relate to. Maybe you can relate to this too: April 2022, school is over, my brain is fried, and my backpack sits in the corner, begging to be taken on an adventure. Six weeks later here I am, exhausted from an incredible solo adventure in Vietnam and Thailand, itching to go home, sit still and tell you about it. I am no authority (on any subject except arguably my own experience), just a person who learned some things and thinks she can bring you some value by talking about it.


1. Don’t be scared
The vast majority of strangers are helpful and kind people who will be happy to help out a fellow tourist. So meet them, reach out, and gain much more valuable experiences.

Stranger danger has been hammered into most of us since childhood, in a classic case of probability distortion: you overestimate the probability of a bad outcome, because the truth is that yes, it only has to happen once (fill in: murder, abduction, assault, or any other malicious intent people assume of strangers). Some places are riskier than others, but I have witnessed over and over again that the overwhelming majority of people (based on my statistically significant [n>30] convenience sample from around the world) are kind and helpful.

Not only is it exhilarating to disprove social paradigms, but the experiences and stories you get through Couchsurfing and hitchhiking are usually the most formative, building the cornerstones of learning through travel. Hitchhiking in Vietnam, I met female Buddhist monks who taught me about Vipassana meditation, a full car (but they squeezed and took me anyway) of young, vibrant people driving their singer friend to a show, and a mother who had started her own business, and was now the family’s breadwinner.

The world is much easier to live in when we are able to trust, and the rewards greatly outweigh the risks in the big picture. So far, every time I chose to trust, it moved me forward and taught me more than “authentic” tourist experiences ever did.


2. Be active
Find a goal, activity or purpose, and follow it. Sightseeing is fun for a few days, but you will gain much more value if you become part of the social system you’re visiting.

First, know your purpose. Is it to unwind, slow down, and learn about yourself, connect with friends through unique experiences? There are best practices to achieve any purpose, but I want to speak to those who primarily (there does not, of course, need to be one single goal) want to discover the world, understand and learn from the communities they visit, while being mindful of the footprints they leave behind.

If you want immersion, learning, and understanding, here’s my most important tip: don’t just be a passive consumer of experience, but try to become part of the system.

Make yourself useful by working or volunteering. Even better, create more benefit for both yourself and others through expert help (teaching, programming, painting, using any skill that you have and people need, to the best of your ability—I’m sure you have something valuable to contribute anywhere you go).

I found it most rewarding to paint and work as a teacher on an organic sustainable agriculture farm, but that might not be the same for you. Figure out what you care about: creativity? Sustainability? Slowing down? Speeding up? Getting over social anxiety? Language immersion? Physical challenge? Improving in or learning about a field you want to pursue? Any goal you have in life can be transferred to travel, and if you go into your journey with some pointers (not rigid goals, plans don’t always work out and that’s okay), you could create a much more valuable experience.

Nirvana Garden Today

I was in paradise, but it was a makeshift one, a collage, a construction. What seemed like pure, thriving nature had been carefully crafted, skillfully layered. Still, it was incred- ibly beautiful.

(painted in Chiang Rai in the home of a painter who met me at the airport and invit- ed me to stay with him and paint)


3. Be respectful 
Think critically about how you perceive and treat locals, and what narratives and stereotypes your actions perpetuate. Most importantly, never forget to give everyone the human respect they deserve.

More often than not, I’ve seen locals being perceived or treated by fellow tourists as vessels of experience rather than actual people. This transactional approach is not only disrespectful and exploitative, but it also robs you of a human-to-human experience and promotes harmful stereotypes (for and about all parties involved). The local will see yet another cash dispenser, while the tourist sees a simple service provider trying to rip them off. In these interactions, a little respect and humility can go a long way—I won’t tell you what to do or say, but only to remember that we are all people, and all deserving of respect and moral equality (remember SS51?). Writing this feels so elementary, but too many people seem to have forgotten.

An example and extension of this is haggling. So much of travelers’ time is spent on trying to find the best deals. I get it, we’re trying to be low-cost—I’m all for that. But, after a week of constantly worrying about money, I realized something very obvious: if someone charges me a bit more—even robs me—should I really blame them? I am still incomparably more privileged and have so many opportunities and an iron-clad safety net to fall back on. That extra $10 will make almost no difference for me, but it will for someone who might be trying to feed a family or support a struggling business. Oftentimes the street vendors are older women, and I imagine my grandmother and how I would like her to be treated at work. Operating on the basis of moral equality does not allow me to get angry at the person, whoever they are, but rather at the incredibly unfair system. I still don’t like overpaying on flights or hotels, but for small businesses or street vendors, I have stopped haggling, and it’s made me happier and freed up brain space for more important thoughts. I think you should pick your battles, and I no longer consider fighting this one to be justified.


4. Learn your history and present
Context is crucial to understanding a society, as well as the individuals within it. So, put in the effort and look for understanding—your return on investment will be ten-fold.

The more places I go, the more I realize how much culture, politics, and history say about each other (I’m not trying to identify causal links or make normative value judgments, only to point out that each one is crucial for understanding the other two).

For instance, Korea bears a past of war, occupation, and injustices that carry onto the present. A single generation of hard-working people has managed to rebuild the country into a key global player, defined by its contemporary culture and production rather than a past of oppression. It makes sense, then, that people would value hard work, and place a lot of pressure on young generations to perform in the traditional way—which has worked so well for them despite its many costs—and would be intensely patriotic and protective of their culture.

Knowing this brought me understanding and empathy towards the many confusing everyday rules of city life—it makes sense that people would conform (in a collectivist culture with a strong emphasis on filial piety), and be frustrated at their violation (especially by careless foreigners). I was careful not to disrespect Korean culture in any way, and behave as respectfully as possible. I was also able to ask people about how their country’s past influences individual lives, discover overarching topics and issues, and compare their experiences to mine.

There is so much about the world that I don’t understand, but learning about the past and present of peoples and cultures always brings me closer to them, and shows me how similar people are, even when they seem so different. Just as I am influenced by WW2 and the following 40 years of communism in my country (Slovakia yay), so are people here influenced by the historical and political currents of theirs. The results are different but the humans are all equally human, and capable of understanding each other.

More than ever, I believe that culture can be shared in a symbiotic rather than exploitative way, if people (on both sides but mainly the benefactors of the exploitation) are willing to put in the thought and effort.


5. Consider going solo (but ready to get uncomfortable)
Solo traveling can be a time to reflect, slow down, see and fight your demons, meet yourself and the world. It’s an opportunity like no other.

Traveling by myself was scary, lonely, uncomfortable, boring, stressful, every single time. And every single time I have realized something big, something that has moved me forward.

Going solo teaches you to be with yourself (sometimes going days without a proper conversation, and entering a state of constant almost-meditation), clarify your values, organize your time, and make decisions based on what really matters to you (without questioning them beyond a healthy point). It forces you to look for help in the kindness of strangers (a resource I have found to be endless, but also hard to tap into at first). You get to observe and perceive so much more of the world around you without the sweet distraction of familiar friends. Instead, you meet new people, and soon enough it can start to feel like the world is a home full of potential friends rather than distant strangers.

Personally, I find that solo traveling provides space that I never feel like I need until i get it—the space to stand back and look at the bigger picture I am building, calm down (quite the antithesis to the Minerva lifestyle), prioritize, organize, regroup and take a deep breath before plunging back into the madness, stronger and ready (excited even) to fight my daily battles.

Going solo is a commitment, and a decision that should be made thoughtfully. It is getting constantly pushed out of your comfort zone, and into independence. It is not a walk in the park, but it is extremely rewarding and healing.

Many of these pearls of wisdom—as it often is with important life lessons—are easily forgotten. I have learned and unlearned this and much more multiple times. That is why solo traveling is a new struggle every time, but also why I still feel that I need to keep doing it.

Visual exploration: flowers, movement, femininity


That’s if from this one. I have lots more to say so feel free to ask me if you get the chance. Good luck on your adventures – whatever shape or form they may take – in this incredibly beautiful rollercoaster of a life!

Love,
Lexi