I have a dream
to be a bit
resilient,
flexible,
productive.

And maybe a little less
reactive,
emotional;
a depressed mess.

Yet, I am not.
I do feel lost
in this world
where you are expected
to know your purpose,
your life projects,
your mission statements.

And then sell them
to attract customers,
to earn a living.

And yet we are told
that sex work is bad

But why?
Who defined it that way?
Why is it okay to sell your soul?
Maybe if we’d slow down,
we would hear
the cry
of the child
inside us
that carried too much weight
for too long,
handcuffed by social norms.

We’ve been told we’re wrong
before we even spoke.
First memorizing facts about the world
only to realize we know nothing at all
about the place we call our home,

Do you ever want to get into a spaceship
and leave this world?

I don’t.
I’m terrified of loneliness,
darkness,
and confined spaces.
I am not the perfect human
that is needed
to be shot out
       of the atmosphere
           of hate and greed,
                of superficiality,
                       of addiction to power,
and control.

Do you also fear
losing control?
Would life then feel too real?
I don’t know.

I feel lost.
Yet, I still don’t know
what that even means.
I just know
how it’s supposed to feel.
Is that enough though?
Would I ever feel found
in the world
built on creating unmet desires
and spurring greed?



It helps to handle
this world and its burden.

So we just numb ourselves
to survive long enough
to not die young.